Lovesick
by GHSNEKO
Summary: I've finally realized why I always wish to see you. *Working title. May change*
1. Thinking of You

_**Lovesick**_

_**A Gravitation fic by GHSNEKO **_

You've been there for as long as I can remember. Always with Tohma. Always there smiling. And now...I've finally realized...why I always wish to see you.

Because...Because I...Because...

I love you.

But the very thought is crazy. I'm only sixteen. How can I even think about this? To feel this way is bordering upon insanity. Maybe I need help. I think I need to go see the shrink. I'm obviously nuts.

Some deeprooted pyschological quirk, I'm sure. But still...I can't seem to stop trying to be better when I'm around you. Standing taller, trying to be as attractive as possible, practicing my music more so I can be the best. I'm dying to impress you; for you to notice me. I can't help myself.

You're just so perfect. I want you to want me. I thrive on every compliment, every innocent hug. Every time we meet, every time I glimpse you walking by. I think about you constantly. I even have a poster of you on my wall.

I know Shuichi probably complains that I mistreat him. I suppose I do, though I don't intend to. He's just so much like you, though he lacks all the most wonderful qualities. I feel like he's trying to steal pieces of you sometimes. Copying your moves, trying to make his voice do something that I know only yours can. I know it's silly; he just admires you. But I can't help it.

I also can't help the jealousy I feel sometimes when you're with him. I know I can complain to you about things if I want, but I'm not that type. I don't want to be like that. I've always wanted to be mature so I could fit in best as I could with you and Tohma. I think it kinda worked. You guys included me when you could. I appreciated that.

To be honest, I was always kinda jealous of Miss Noriko. After you met her, you and Tohma weren't around as much, always busy with the band. Finally, after you had gotten all the bugs worked out, you started letting me hang around while you practiced and such. It wasn't until Miss Noriko got married that I felt that you and Tohma were safe from becoming hers.

Of course, then there was the matter of you and Tohma. You two were the first to introduce me to bisexuality, by way of me happening to spot you guys kissing in the kitchen. No worries though. I was just about old enough to start understanding all this stuff. Not all of it, but the basics.

Mom and Dad had never really emphasized that only boys and girls were supposed to be together, so two guys didn't faze me whatsoever. I do however think that might''ve been what made me start modeling myself after Tohma. A subconscious effort to get you to like me too. Though at the time, I don't think it was because I wanted you to make out with me in the kitchen. Now of course, it is.

I'm bi and dying to have you.

I definitely need a doctor. Because I'm sick. Sick in love with you.

Lovesick.

Help me...Ryuichi.

_**And so my second attempt at shounen-ai begins. R&R please. **_


	2. Missed Note

_**Lovesick**_

_**A Gravitation fic by GHSNEKO**_

Ryuichi noticed him.

Noticed him growing up. That sweet kid he'd met years before was growing into a handsome accomplished man. Each day becoming better and better. Each day getting more and more beautiful. Ryu recoiled from the mental bitchslap his common sense dealt him.

"Ryuichi, you pedophile." Common Sense rebuked. "That's a sixteen year old CHILD."

"I know. I know. Sheesh, can I not just notice that he's growing up?"

"Can you do it without adding sexual desire into the mix?"

"I'M NOT!"

"Yes, you are. Pervert."

"Shut up, Common Sense. You're annoying."

"Excuse me for trying to keep you out of jail." Common Sense replied huffily, sulking off to a corner.

"Shut up. I'm not doing anything."

"Suuuuure."

"I'm not! Damn. You're so suspicious and judgmental and condescending and-"

"Shut up, perv."

"Screw you. Get out of my head."

"No way."

"Um, yes way. This is my head. As of this moment, I'm issuing an eviction notice. You have five seconds to get the hell out and leave me alone."

"I'm not going anywhere lest you do something ridiculously stupid." Ryuichi shoved Common Sense into a small, dark, mental closet labeled Small Dark Mental Closet. "LET ME OUT! IT'S DARK! GAH! I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC! EWW! A SPIDER!"

"His name is Steve."

"Who?" Common Sense whimpered, feeling very panicky in the small closet.

"The spider." Ryu replied, before shutting out Common Sense's screams and walking into the studio where Bad Luck was rehearsing.

****

Suguru looked up as Ryuichi strolled into the room.

The brunette met his gaze and smiled before sprawling across a couch to listen to Bad Luck's rehearsal. Suguru continued playing, though he felt butterflies trying to flutter about in his stomach. It wasn't that he was nervous about playing in front of Ryuichi; it was playing perfectly. He was scared to death of messing up in front of him. Shuichi kept singing and Suguru winced when he missed a note near the end of the song. As the song ended, Suguru spoke up.

"Mr. Shindou, you missed a note."

The singer turned to him incredulously. "No, I didn't." Sensing an impending argument, Hiro began quietly checking his guitar's tuning. Sakano entered the room and, feeling the tension crackling between the singer and keyboardist, promptly passed out. Poor thing. K was missing in action. No one had seen him all day.

"I'm afraid you did. It's no problem though. It's a very easy mistake to make, and fortunately, very easy to correct." Suguru replied, hoping a friendly, helpful tone would alleviate Shuichi's arguing. No such luck.

"You're crazy, Fujisaki. I didn't miss a note."

"You did. I heard it very clearly." he sighed.

"No, I didn't! Hiro! I didn't miss anything, did I?"

The guitarist cursed under his breath. "Shit." He looked up and Shuichi and smiled gently. "I don't know, Shuichi. I don't pay attention to that kind of stuff. He might be right. He might not." With an apologetic shrug, he looked back down at his guitar. Well, at least Hiro was honest. That was something Suguru could appreciate about his bandmate.

"Mr. Shindou, I must insist that we go back to the area in question and correct the problem." Suguru requested patiently.

"I think we should move on to the next song because I didn't mess up!"

"Shuichi." Ryuichi's voice cut in.

"Hmm?"

"He's right. You messed up. Bridge, third line." the older singer stated matter-of-factly, resting his head against his fist. Suguru nodded.

Shuichi hung his head and a dark cloud hovered over him. "Oh." he muttered quietly. "How about we take a couple hours for lunch and come back and try the song again?" He sulked out of the room, a mass of depression following him. Hiro ran a hand over his face and dutifully went to try and cheer Shuichi up. Suguru flopped down next to Ryuichi. They looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

"I expect Yuki will be getting an earful about how horrible we are." the brunette sighed.

"How horrible I am." Suguru corrected. "Shuichi never finds fault with you."

"Yeah...That's part of his problem." Ryuichi muttered, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

"Thanks for sticking up for me."

"No problem. You were right."

"Yeah...Well, thanks anyway...He's so difficult."

"Seems you and Tohma are destined to deal with bitchy singers, huh?"

"I guess so. I have Shuichi, and Tohma has all these pyschos under the label."

"He had me too."

Suguru turned to him and raised a questioning eyebrow. "You aren't like that."

"I used to be. But, after a few times of Tohma being right, I decided to start listening to him the first time. Shuichi will come around. Eventually."

Suguru chuckled. "Eventually. That's such a loose term."

"Yeah, it is. Now stop looking all dark and mysterious. How about we go fetch Tohma and get some lunch?"

"Sounds good. What about Mr. Sakano?"

"I'm not THAT nice." Ryuichi replied, raising both eyebrows.

"Nooooo..." the younger one laughed. "I meant, how about we move him over onto the couch so people don't trip over him?"

"Ah." Together, they lifted the producer and settled him on the couch. Then, they headed upstairs to Tohma's office.

_**R&R please. **_


	3. An Afternoon in the Park

_**Lovesick **_

_**A Gravitation fic by GHSNEKO **_

Suguru and Ryuichi opened the door to Tohma's office quietly, expecting the blond to be working on paperwork or on the phone.

Instead, they were surprised. Tohma wasn't filling out paperwork, or discussing business on the phone. He wasn't reviewing a band's ratings, or reading articles about bands. No, today Tohma Seguchi was doing something very unbusinesslike. His arms were crossed across the desk with his head laid on top of them. Tohma Seguchi was taking a nap.

The blond president looked rather angelic while sleeping and Ryuichi and Suguru decided against waking him up. Sneaking out quietly, they stopped by the secretary's desk with instructions to hold all of President Seguchi's calls until two.

****

After taking a leisurely lunch at a nearby sushi restaurant, Ryuichi and Suguru decided to take a stroll through the park.

Both had donned their sunglasses and hats to prevent public recognition, and the simple disguises worked as they passed teenage boys and girls, young mothers and fathers, joggers, people with dogs, and other figures of the general public without incident.

"So, are you going to that thing for the company on Saturday?"

"I have to. Bad Luck is performing." Suguru replied with little enthusiasm. "I don't know why Tohma has us playing for that. Most of the audience will be a bunch of businessmen who don't care about the music."

"Yeah, that's what I always figured too. But Tohma always says that those businessmen bring their families, which supposedly include fans. I think he just wants us there to keep him from killing them." Ryuichi shrugged.

"Probably. I hope for their sakes they're all smart enough to know not to make Tohma angry."

"Me too."

"So what about you?"

"What about me?" Ryuichi murmured somewhat distractedly, his gaze fixed on something across the way.

"Are you going?"

"To the thing? Yeah. Tohma's making me. Him and Nori make me do such boring things...Do you see that? Or am I crazy?" he inquired, pointing.

"I see a squirrel, yes."

"Yeeeeeah, but look at that bush. Is it me or is something...off?"

"Hmmmm...You're right. That's a very odd bush."

As they watched, something large leaped out of the bush towards the squirrel. The furry creature shot across the ground and up a big tree, chittering angerily from above.

"Is that...K?"

Ryuichi and Suguru ran over to where the American was sitting on the ground, staring predatorily at the squirrel.

"Hi, K. Hunting squirrels? I do believe they're out of season." Ryuichi asked nonchalantly.

The blond man looked at them and blinked, then scrambled up, attempting to regain some of his lost dignity. (He failed.)

"Mr. K, may I ask why exactly you're scrambling around after squirrels?" Suguru sighed, already dreading the answer.

"There is a VERY important, HIGHLY classified, TOP secret reason I am attempting to apprehend THAT squirrel." K announced importantly, though rather flustered.

"Oh? I would LOVE to hear it, K." Ryu replied, crossing his arms across his chest and raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"THAT squirrel has been requested by an anonymous entity for reasons of international security." K answered, pointing upwards. The squirrel continued its angry abuses, the fluffy tail twitching.

"That cute fluffy little gray squirrel? A threat to international security? Really, K? Really?" Ryuichi indicated the creature in utter disbelief.

K nodded solemnly. "Yes. Under that cute exterior lies the interior of a killer."

"Uh huh." Suguru looked at the man over his sunglasses, clearly not buying it.

"So, um, K. May I inquire as to the identity of this so-called 'anonymous entity'?"

"No, you may not. That's the meaning of anonymous." the manager replied snobbishly. His cell phone rang and he pulled it out to answer it. "Hello? Oh, hi there, Michael...Yes, Daddy's very busy right now." K glanced at Ryuichi and Suguru and walked a few paces away. He whispered, "No, Daddy hasn't caught you a squirrel yet. But I'm working on it. Yes, I'm trying my best to catch one for you. Yes, I'll see you tomorrow, buddy. Love you. Byebye."

Ryuichi and Suguru burst out laughing as he returned. "Anonymous entity, huh?"

"Yes, as I was saying, my employer cannot be named. The matter is quite hush-hush."

"Oh yes, shhhhhh. Wouldn't want anyone to know the name of the employer, would we, Ryuichi?" Suguru grinned.

"Of course not. We don't want anyone to know that K is trying to CATCH A SQUIRREL FOR HIS SON." Ryu replied loudly.

K's face turned red and he stuttered. "T-That is abso-absolutely ridiculous. Rid-Ridiculous, I say!"

"Oh?"

"SQUIRREL!" Ryuichi shouted, pointing behind K.

"What? WHERE! I'll catch em! I'm gonna catch him for you, Michael! Daddy won't let you down!" K yelled, leaping towards the imaginary fluffball in full battle mode.

"So, what are you wearing Saturday?"

"I dunno. I'll find something, I guess." the younger musician shrugged.

"You wanna go shopping with me tomorrow?" Ryu asked, squinting at the squirrel in the tree.

"Sure."

"Cool."

"When do you think he's gonna figure out there's no squirrel over there?"

Ryuichi made an "I dunno." noise. "Who knows? He's nuts."

_**R&R please **_


End file.
